Total Football

“..this wry look at British identity through the lens of football is bang on target: droll, daft and deft.”

Financial Times

“..if you only spend 70 mins in a theatre, be sure to spend them here.”


“One of our most refreshingly provocative theatre companies.”

Time Out

“If you only spend 70 minutes in a theatre, be sure to spend them here”, What’s On.

Ridiculusmus celebrate and ridicule the absurd world of football, a game in which ’22 millionaires ruin a lawn”.

“You don’t need to give a fig about football to enjoy this inventive, hectic 70-minute piece in which Ridiculusmus use sport to explore ideas of national identity. Fans of the BBC sitcom ‘Twenty Twelve’ will lap up the satire on blundering “experts” and their hopeless strategies”, Evening Standard.

“As research for this show, our heroic duo spent years embedded in the football darklands. “From the perspective of someone with no interest in football, the show was very interesting to make. I had to immerse myself in it for two years”. Jon.

“Through the language of sport, Ridiculusmus dissect what it means to be British today. “The historical anomaly that allows the UK to have four teams in FIFA is an excellent scam sadly underused”, David.

“This wry look at British identity thought the lens of football is bang on: droll, daft and deft”, Financial Times.

Football systems, political wrangling and changing room guff are all probed for comic effect. The Ridiculusmus team give 110% then, after a tense first half, kick life’s big problems into touch. More Beckett than Beckham, it is football, but not as we know it.

“(Ridiculusmus) score highly on humour, unpredictability and fluid stagecraft”, The Guardian.

“As a defiant mingling of silliness and existential performance art, Total Football is Ridiculusmus to a tee”, Exuent.

“A bit like watching England. Only funnier”, The Arts Desk.

“Without football, my life is nothing”, Christiano Ronaldo.

Created, Written & Performed by David Woods & Jon Haynes

Creative Collaborators: Paul Bonglorno, Louise Bush, Helen Chadwick, Paul Goddard, Rupert Jones, Renee Palmer, Fiona Roake, Richard Talbot.


Cast & Crew

Written & Performed by David Woods & Jon Haynes
Designer George Tomlinson
Lighting Designer Mischa Twitchin
Sound Designer Salvador Garza
Sound Designer Russell Goldsmith
Production Manager Andrea Salazar
Technical Manager Chris Marsh-Hilfiker
Technical Manager Helen Mugridge
Photographer Vivian Cooper Smith
Photographer Glenda Roberts
Photographer Alex Brenner
Producer Jo Crowley
Associate Producer Clara Giraud
General Manager Joanna Ridout

Partners & Funders

Barbican, LondonBelfast Festival at QueensNational Theatre WalesNational Theatre of Scotland

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